If you haven’t read about the situation w/ 300 and Iran then check that post out first and then come back to read this one.

This weekend the movie Dead Silence will be released in theaters across the United States and already there are rumblings of anger in the doll community. Dead Silence tells the story of Mary Shaw, a ventriloquist from long ago who went mad and was murdered after being falsely accused of killing a young boy. Years later Mary Shaw’s ghost returns along with her legions of dolls to seek revenge upon the townspeople.

Although Dead Silence is clearly marketed as a fictional story there are now dolls everywhere claiming unjust portrayals as barbaric killing machines for the on-screen slaughterings. Many dolls are disputing the accuracy of their representations in the film by arguing that there have been multitudes of dolls which have brought happiness and joy to children everywhere around the world. They believe that to now show them as depraved, knife-wielding attackers goes against years of goodwill and peaceful cohabitation.

Earlier this afternoon the official Ventriloquist spokesdoll had this to say:

“It’s bad enough that we have to endure hands stuffed up our behinds, but now we’re being shown as killers and blood thirsty animals. This is a great injustice to our kind and will not be tolerated.”

Other groups of dolls are speculating that this film has been secretly supported by the US Government to fund an attack on dolls. These sorts of claims have left government officials as well as US citizens everywhere scratching their heads in confusion.

One hopeful movie-goer interviewed outside a local theater said this:

“I thought this wasn’t a true story, but just made up to be entertaining. Why are they so angry?”

No one knows for sure. But what we do know is that those dolls are definitely angry.

The parody ends here because, sadly, I think the trailer below is serious.