“America’s Favorite Ballroom”
Tonight began the new season of Dancing with the stars on ABC. They have the usual assortment of B-list stars and in some cases B-list is a generous designation. Tom Bergeron of Hollywood Squares and America’s Funniest Home Videos fame hosts the show. He obviously brought his joke writer’s with him because his joke’s are just as bad as always and always seem prepared in advance. Before I get too down on this show I will say that the B-listers, Tom Bergeron, and the judges are a lot of what give this show its charm. I like Dancing with the Stars because it is kind of cheesy. If the show really took itself too seriously it wouldn’t work. No one is going to watch ballroom dancing on ESPN. Bull riding yes, ballroom no. And of course I’d be lying if I didn’t say I like the little outfits. Bergeron’s co-host Samantha Harris is also a correspondent for E! and very attractive as well.

Unfortunately this week, no one is getting sent home. There are of course some prime candidates already but, you’ll have to keep reading to find out who I think they are.

Ian Ziering & Cheryl Burke
Cheryl is a two time winner of DWTS, and in my opinion super hot. She is going for the threepeat with Ian Ziering. Ziering has been keeping a pretty low profile (i.e., he’s been unemployed) since his90210 days. I actually recognized Cheryl before I could figure out who he was. Of course she appeared on the ballroom dancing episode of Zach and Cody on you guessed it the Disney Channel (As I write more and more posts its really sad to see how much of my life revolves around the Disney Channel). As for their dancing, I thought they did really well. I think they would have done even better but, they went first and so I think the judges were being conservative with their scores. They are definitely contenders.
Carrie Ann Inaba:7
Len Goodman:7
Bruno Tonioli:7
Total:21

Paulina Porizkova & Alec Mazo
Paulina is a former super model. I remember her when she was in her prime, you know back when I was too. She still looks pretty good, wish I could say the same. They danced fairly well although Paulina seemed a little bit awkward which kinda surprised to me. They definitely have potential. My wife really didn’t like the fact that Paulina was taller than Alec.
Carrie Ann Inaba:6
Len Goodman:6
Bruno Tonioli:7
Total:19

Billy Ray Cyrus & Karina Smirnoff
Karina is another pro back from last season. She was paired with Mario Lopez whom I my sources inform me she is still dating. Billy Ray Cyrus is best known as a Country music star, but he also starred in the TV series Doc. Currently Billy Ray Cyrus plays the dad to his real life daughter on the TV series Hannah Montana, which airs on my favorite network the Disney Channel (I can’t wait until my kids grow outof that). Billy Ray and Karina danced (if you can call itdancing) the ChaCha to some crazy country song. They definitely worked hard, but in theend, it just wasn’t good dog (oops wrong show). The judges were less than thrilled. Carrie Ann the judge made a comment about their musicality. Is that even a word? These two are on the short list to be headed home.
Carrie Ann Inaba:5
Len Goodman:4
Bruno Tonioli:4
Total:13

Leeza Gibbons & Tony Dovolani
Leeza is the host of Entertainment Tonight. She and her partner did fine. My wife didn’t think shelooked very comfortable. They judges agreed. They also thought she needed to relax and looked elegant but stiff.
Carrie Ann Inaba:5
Len Goodman:5
Bruno Tonioli:5
Total:15

Joey Fatone & Kym Johnson
This is the guy with the beard who used tosing in NSYNC with Justin Timberlake.Unlike Justin though, his career kinda died with NSYNC. Halfway through the routine he lost his microphone pack. It trailed him like a tail for the rest of the dance. Props for not letting it distract him. Although at the end when Tom Bergeron asked him about having thisthinghanging off of his backside for most of the routine Joey responded “I thought i crapped myself.” Very classy. Thanks for that image Joey. Despite the fact that Joey’s kind of a big guy (not that I’m one to throw stones), he and Kym did a great job. The judges liked it. They got th highest score of the night. Although I’m not sure why I expected anything else. Of course the guy from the boy band can dance.
Carrie Ann Inaba:8
Len Goodman:8
Bruno Tonioli:8
Total:24

Laila Ali & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Laila Ali is a female boxer. She and Maksim did fine. Although nothing really stood out for me about it. The judges really liked their foxtrot and thought Laila was very graceful. But, that’s not surprising considering she’s the daughter of Muhammad Ali.
Carrie Ann Inaba:7
Len Goodman:8
Bruno Tonioli:8
Total:23

John Ratzenburger & Edyta Sliwinska
Cliffy! I’m rootin’ for him just because he is Cliff from Cheers. Ratzenburger did great for an old guy. Especially since he jumped in at the last minute for Big Pussy from the Sopranos who pussied out after only a couple of weeks. The judges were surprised as well. I don’t think Cliffy will last long unless Vote for the Worst pushes for him later in the season though.
Carrie Ann Inaba:6
Len Goodman:5
Bruno Tonioli:6
Total:17

Shandi Finnessey & Brian Fortuna
Shandi was Miss USA 2004. Wow, she had great legs. Almost as good as Stacy Keibler’s. Unfortunately her dancing couldn’t hold a candle to Stacey’s. I really expected better. Isn’t Miss USA supposed to be about grace and poise? The judges thought they did a good job at selling the dance but, she really needed some work on the technical aspects of her dancing. The funniest part of the show though was when Bruno referred to them as Barbi and Ken. They also danced to Huey Lewis which seemed like a bit of an odd choice to me.
Carrie Ann Inaba:6
Len Goodman:6
Bruno Tonioli:7
Total:19

Clyde Drexler & Elena Grinenko
Just like Cliffy is the token old guy, Clyde is the token sports superstar this season. He was a superstar in the NBA for years. Clyde may have been known as Clyde the Glide for the way he moved on the court, but I’m guessing they have a slightly different measure of grace in the NBA than they do in ballroom dancing. At 6 foot 7, Drexler is a giant. And like a lot of tall people he seems pretty awkward off the court. He definitely is no where near as graceful as his predecessors not graceful like Jerry Rice or Emmitt Smith. When he and Elena dance together its like a sideshow act (she’s only 5′4). He is so tall he can hold out his arms and spin around and not even come close to touching her head. I thought his dancing was awful. The judges claimed to liked him and seemed to think he could do it despite his height. But I’ll tell you this, their scores didn’t show it. Personally, I think its a race between Clyde and Billy Ray to see who gets to ride the bus home first.
Carrie Ann Inaba:6
Len Goodman:5
Bruno Tonioli:5
Total:16

Heather Mills & Jonathon Roberts
Heather Mills is billed as a Celebrity Charity Campaigner, whatever that is. I don’t know why theydon’t just say Paul McCartney’s ex-wife since that’s the only thing she’s actually famous for. They made a big deal over the fact that she only has one leg which,yeh it is. I give her props for coming out and doing the show with onlyone leg. She is going to have it way tougher than any of the other celebrities. But, being a real celebrities ex-wife doesn’t really even qualify you for a B-list show like this. Which means they only signed her up because of her leg, which to me is ethically borderline. She and her partner danced fine tonight. If she isn’t able to improve because of her leg, she still may get some sympathy votes (I know, but its the awful truth). This may be counter balanced by the antipathy alot of the audience has for her. A lot of people are far more sympathetic to Paul McCartney and see her as nothing more than a gold-digger who took advantage of him. Her low-rent London accent, and cheap attempts to win crowd favor by doing wacky things like looking at the camera cross-eyed, aren’t going to help her image.
Carrie Ann Inaba:6
Len Goodman:6
Bruno Tonioli:6 (Score of the devil!)
Total:18

Apollo Ohno & Julianne Hough
Ohno is olympic speedskater with 2 gold medals to his name. Julianne is a junior champion and the youngest pro dancer ever on the show (and a little cutie). They danced well. Ohno just stood there a little too often with Julianne dancing around him though. The problem is that Ohno is continuing to compete in speedskating events around the world at the same time he is doing this show. So Julianne is having to travel with him and train him when ever they get a few minutes between skating training and events. Ohno definitely has the grace and movements of a pro athlete, but without time to train he wont be on the show too long. The judges thought they had great potential,but made way too many technical mistakes.
Carrie Ann Inaba: 7
Len Goodman: 7
Bruno Tonioli: 7
Total: 21

The one celeb I was hoping to see on the show this season was Boomer Esiason, former quarterback for the Bengals and the Jets. During football season he calls into a local radio show here in DC, the Elliot in the Morning show, to make his predictions for the weekend. He and Elliot seem to genuinely get along well as opposed to the polite banter you typically get with most radio show guests. Last fall he mentioned to Elliot that Dancing with the Stars had approached him again for the third straight season to be on the show. This time, seeing how well Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice had done, he said was seriously considering it. I guess he passed again. Too bad, he probably would have been better than Clyde Drexler. I can’t imagine they will ask him a fourth time.

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