Great action, weak storyline, weaker actresses…

I just got back from watching Spider-Man 3 this afternoon and I’ve gotta say I’m feeling let down. I loved the first two films, especially the second one, which was an atypical sequel (better than the first). So I went into this third installment with high hopes of another success. Sam Raimi and crew disappointed me.

The high points of Spider-Man 3 were definitely in the action, as expected. There were lots of great fight scenes and the villains were scary and intimidating. It felt like this film was a little heavier on the CGI during the fight sequences this time around, or at least the CGI wasn’t as convincing as before. The larger than life Sandman attacks were visually impressive and exciting to watch as were Venom’s romps through the city.

Where Spider-Man 3 really began to stumble was in the story. The movie runs for 2 hours and 20 minutes and sadly more than half of that is eaten by a storyline more appropriate for a teenage theme TV drama. Mary Jane gets dumped from her job as a Broadway actress due to deplorable reviews (oh why can’t life imitate art more often), and from then on she’s a non-stop pile of whine. This makes every appearance of her character painful to endure as she whines about her career, whines about Peter’s love, whines about the troubles of life, whines about…

Then there is Harry Osborn, who after a bump on the head, acts more like Harrison Ford in Regarding Henry than someone with a newly refreshed lease on life with his continuous over-sized grin and simpleton personality. Worst of all is how the director handles Peter Parker’s new bad boy attitude with the introduction of his new black, meteorite delivered Spidey suit. The best way Raimi sees fit to express this dark side is by having Peter flip down his like your local Goth kids. He looked more emo than evil. The cheese gets piled on as Parker serves up a disco filled stroll through the city and eventual trip to a jazz club which is best left to your discovery. I will warn you though by summing up the unnecessarily long and irrelevant scene with this: GAP commercial.

That brings me around to the dimension of actresses in this movie. Last week I wrote about the gall of Kirsten Dunst to spout off about, ‘There are no actors, there are only actresses.’ Not this week kiddo. I was terribly disappointed in the casting and use of nearly all female cast members here. Rosemary Harris (Aunt May) once again gracefully carried the role of moral compass, but aside from her character the director completely abused the female roles. To cast Bryce Dallas Howard and Kirsten Dunst in the roles of ‘love interest’ is laughable. Neither of these women are Hollywood attractive nor do they provide any credibility to the film as actresses. Aside from her last name Bryce Dallas Howard has no business in this movie. That statement has nothing to do with her appearance and everything to do with her acting abilities, her looks just make it that much more unfortunate. My wife completely disagrees with my assessment of Howard in this film. Not Dunst though, she think she’s the devil.

Spider-Man 3 has so much filler content that you’d forget the director, Sam Raimi, had a multitude of opportunities to take advantage of fantastic villain characters and action potential. Thomas Hayden Church provided a refreshing, convincing, and enjoyable portrayal of the troubled Flint Marko (Sandman). Church’s matured and skilled abilities were a great addition to the cast and he deserves a good deal of credit for what he added. Topher Grace handled his role of Eddie Brock Jr., and eventually as Venom, pretty well. He initially got a lot of flak as being the wrong casting choice, but I was mildly impressed and not really disappointed in how he delivered it. Unfortunately, by the time the story is done with its high school drama subplots the Eddie Brock and Venom combo get a mere 20 minutes of the story. Another lost chance was the lucky casting of James Cromwell. You might notice his name in the credits and look forward to his involvement with the story as another veteran actor. Don’t bother. If you misjudge the timing of your bathroom break you’ll easily miss his three lines in the movie.

One happy note, Bruce Campbell has another fantastic cameo. It’s nice to see Raimi continue to throw Campbell a bone from time to time. Now someone just needs to pick him up for a front lead again.

Sadly, I could go on for even longer (Yes, I definitely already went on for too long.) about how Spider-man 3 was a disappointment. I certainly did not expect to walk out of the theater thinking, “they should have stopped at 2.” Personally I now hope the rumors are true that there won’t be a follow-up fourth film. Perhaps I’d change my mind with a complete new crew as Dunst and Maguire have indicated they won’t be back without Raimi. A change could do this franchise some good as this formula has clearly dried up.

As I read a few days ago in an early review, negative reviews of this film won’t stop the masses just like it didn’t stop me, but be warned, Spider-man peaked in its previous installment. Rest in peace Spidey. I enjoyed the ride while it lasted.

My Spider-Man 3 rating:
Action: 3.5/4 stars
Story: 1.5/4 stars
Directing: 1.5/4 stars
Overall: 2/4 stars