It’s now been 5 years since R. Kelly, born Robert Sylvester Kelly, was charged with child pornography and that whole nasty “allegedly” videotaping sex with a young girl. Normally that would put a halt to someone’s life in the free world. Don’t tell that to R. Kelly though. Since that time he has had 6 best selling albums, 3 tours, received many awards, and even had new hits out. I guess he’s just been too busy for a trial though for all that “alleged” activity.

How the heck does a videotaped act get the qualifier of “allegedly” anyway? It’s probably like how I’m not convinced Jack Ruby shot Oswald in the stomach in front of all those people, including all those pesky photographers. The whole ‘hard captured evidence’ thing still hasn’t convinced me.

MSNBC reports on a few of the delays:

A series of sometimes bizarre events, including a judge’s tumble from a ladder and a case of appendicitis, have delayed the 40-year-old R&B superstar’s trial far longer than the norm. Kelly is due in a Chicago courtroom Friday, May 11, for yet another status hearing, but there’s still no trial date in sight as he prepares to release a new album on May 29.

…Presiding Judge Vincent Gaughan seemed close to setting a trial date last year. Then he fell off a ladder at home, sending him to the hospital with multiple fractures. By the time he recovered, Kelly needed emergency surgery for a burst appendix, causing him to miss a February status hearing.

A judge's tumble from a ladder, eh? Sounds more like something from The Sopranos to me. So what could happen if he ever does end up in trial with all of that “alleged” evidence stacked up against him? Up to 15 years in prison for that one. But Kelly isn’t worried says his spokesman, Mayer, “it’s a terrible thing to have hanging over you. But he’s confident that, when all the facts come out, he’s going to be shown to have been not guilty.”

Good luck with that one ‘R.’ and send us an update with your next hip-hop opera “Trapped in the Cell”.

I couldn’t find an embeddable version of the South Park episode with R. Kelly trying to help Tom Cruise and John Travolta out of the closet, but here’s an external link for it.