Owen Wilson, star of Wedding Crashers and the upcoming Wes Anderson film The Darjeeling Limited, was rushed to St. John’s hospital in Santa Monica , Calif. on Sunday, August 26. The details of his rush to the hospital were much darker than his usual comedy, according to Star Magazine:

Sources tell the ENQUIRER and Star that he sliced his left wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills.

He was discovered by a family member who summoned help.

Police and an ambulance responded to a 911 call from Owen’s house around noon on Sunday.

His wrist was sutured and bandaged at the hospital.

The ENQUIRER and Star broke the story of Owen’s hospitalization earlier Sunday and revealed that he was being transferred from St. John’s after being stabilized. The publications learned that he was going to be detoxed.

Well that sucks. I’m really hoping Wilson can get all the help he needs and is back to full strength soon. Not to make light of the situation, but Star Mag points out Wilson cut his “left wrists”. Left wrists? I’ve only got one left wrist. Maybe the sight of having multiple “left wrists” freaked him out and he didn’t know what to do.

Update: A spokeswoman for Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles says Wilson is in “good condition” following his transfer there from St. John’s. The Associated Press is also taking a more reserved approach to making suicide comments like some reckless, hack websites. Oh, wait.

Update (8/28/07): The police are recording their response to Wilson’s residence under the category of “suicide attempt”. Well that settles that because my police sponsored scientific study has proven that the police are never, ever wrong and that I can be easily, easily bought.