Just for fun I was checking out the Big Brother 9 application form. While I love watching reality TV and Big Brother in particular there is no way you could get me on one of those shows. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to expose their life like that on national TV. I still found the application itself fascinating. The full application contains over 70 questions. It starts out like any job or college application. You know, name, address, phone number, employer, bra size. Yes, ladies, you need to tell them your bra size. As the application states, “And remember, above all else, you must BE HONEST!” Both men and women have to include their underwear size. Lets see McDonalds or U. of Michigan get away with putting that on their application forms! Now I’m sure there are legitimate reasons for this since at various points during the competition the producers provide the house guests with clothes, but you can’t help but wonder if they don’t use this info in other unofficial ways to select house guests.

Here are a few of my other favorite questions from the application form:

20. Have you ever had a restraining order issued against you? If so, tell us about it (include dates, city & state).
21. Have you ever had a restraining order issued against someone else? If so, tell us about it (include dates, city & state).
22. Have you ever been involved in any litigation? Are you involved in any pending litigation? If so, tell us about it (include dates).

51. When was the last time (if any) you hit, punched, kicked, or threw something in anger? Please provide details.

They probably ought to ask ‘Should you be seeking mental health counseling?’ A yes would make them a great applicant for the house. Obviously these are to protect CBS. They want house guests who are, let’s call them, a little off, wacky, maybe even a few bricks shy of a load, but not anyone who is a complete nut-case or, more importantly, violently dangerous. Come on, last season I would say the majority of the house guests had some major issues they probably could use some counseling on. Danielle and her Dad, well, even just Dick. Nick fell in love with Danielle after what 2 weeks. Amber and her endless stream of tears. How about Jen? I’ll just leave it at that, how about Jen? There is of course a whole series of questions on lifestyle choices.

29. Do you smoke? If so, what do you smoke and how often?
30. Do you drink alcohol? If so, how often do you drink and how much?
31. If you drink, how often do you get drunk? How do you act when you get drunk?

What do you smoke? Hmm, maybe they should make that one a multiple choice question. ‘d. All of the Above.’

32. What are your thoughts on religion?
33. Are politics important to you? How often do you vote?

I thought it was interesting that they ask people their thoughts on religion but not sexuality. I’m sure you have wondered if the producers pick people who they know will create conflict in the house. Based on this form I would probably have to go with yes. If questions 32 and 33 aren’t enough to convince you, check out questions 63 and 64:

63. “What types of people would you NOT choose to live with you in the house?”
64. “What would irritate you about living in a house with about a dozen other people?”

Oh yeh, this makes it really easy to match up house guests for incompatibility. Hey, why don’t we put the gay liberal smoker who is an atheist with the conservative religious neat freak who can’t stand second hand smoke? Sure, they’re likely to form an alliance. You have to know whatever you put down for these two questions is likely to be a fellow house guest. This next question is probably one of my most favorites on the entire application.

55b. What are you most ashamed of, either now or in your past?

Who the hell is going to answer that honestly. If you’re really willing to share this with the entire country are you really that ashamed of it? Maybe thats what they are looking for. People so desperate for fame and attention that they are willing to reveal everything and anything to get it. Speaking of revealing here is another good one:

59. Have you ever been to a nude beach? If so, what was it like?

I have no idea what this has to do with being a guest in the Big Brother House. My only guess is that they are hoping for hot house guests (see height, weight, bra size questions), who like to take off their clothes so that they can sell more live video feeds.

After reading this form I would love to see the completed applications of a lot of the past house guests. How did Dick handle the question about directing his anger? Or what did Jen say about her mental health? They should publish all of them online. Even better to be able to read the applications of the current house guests as part of their bio. If not before the show starts so that we can get to know them, after they are evicted would still be fun.

In case you are interested, here is the full application form. If you decide this is the type of info you’d like to share with 50 million of your closest friends just fill it out and take it to one of the open casting calls. They are currently in progress. BigBrother9.net has the list of dates and locations. I can’t wait to see you in the BB9 House.

Get ready for Big Brother 10 with application and casting details.

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