Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants returns for its second installment tonight on The CW. Last week the new reality series surprised me after having seen all but the final moments of its first “desashing”. I was fully confident we’d seen the last of the “Blonde Bombshells” after their sad “first impression” but instead we said goodbye to the similarly over confident “Reigning A’s”. Well thank goodness we didn’t lose “Silent But Deadly” in the process or I’d just have to give up now. Instead, tonight the series will press on as ten teams are left and the inevitable swimsuit competition is upon us:

Ten teams remain and begin to form clicks [sic] and alliances in the house. Following beauty pageant tradition, the teams must compete in a swimsuit competition, and the daughters are forced to select swimsuits for themselves and their mothers. The teams also create a one-minute fitness routine for the judges (Carson Kressley, Shanna Moakler and Cynthia Garrett), and the team with the lowest score is de-sashed and sent home.

Last week I promised you plenty of cattiness and it looks like Crowned won’t be letting any of us down in that regards. Check out a preview clip where the mothers are starting to have a little disagreement over what’s worse: flashing your crotch or using foul language. Hmm… What happens if you do both at the same time?