Whew, Dallas definitely had its rough spots. That Douglas dude was pretty scary. Even Paula was ran out of patience with this guy. I was at work late tonight so I didn’t have any patience for him either. He couldn’t sing and his only talent seemed to be wondering around aimlessly mumbling to himself. If he had sung the stalker song to Paula we heard last night I would have called the cops. Yeah, he was that scary. In the end the big security gorillas had to escort him from the judges presence because he wouldn’t even listen to them. The chick who followed him in Angela Ryan, was really awful too. She was really hot which is good for her because she can’t carry a tune in a bucket as the saying goes. She had obviously damaged her husband’s hearing because he thought she was good.

There were a few folks who made it to Hollywood who were questionable at best. The third strike was the weird politician kid. Just for future reference his name was Kyle Ensley. Make sure you remember that name so that if he ever does run for office you know to vote for the other guy. I can only believe Simon said yes to this kid because he is looking for this season’s Sanjaya. Unfortunately the decision came down to Paula because she just can’t say no to anyone. If this kid doesn’t get cut in Hollywood its going to be a really really really long season. Oh and the nutjob with the fingernail collection (Ewww.), I don’t care if he is going to Hollywood no one is ever going to vote for him. These were just a few of the delusional auditions tonight. At least there were no fat guys in bikinis again like last night. All of the cross-dressers were fully clothed tonight thank God.

There were a few, and I say just a few bright moments in tonight’s auditions. Alaina Whitaker wasn’t bad. Although she has the potential to be Season 7’s Kellie Pickler. I loved Pia Easley, the soulful girl with the mohawk. If Drew from Mississippi can learn to actually perform and not just sing he could do really well. The judges sent a total of 24 singers through to Hollywood.

Just a couple of tips for future American Idol Wanna-bes:
1. Don’t dress like you just rolled out of bed (Douglas.)
2. That doesn’t mean you should wear women’s clothing (unless, you know, you’re a woman).
3. Just because you think you sound good in the shower doesn’t mean you can sing.
4. Your family is not unbiased, if they tell you you sound good they’re probably lying… or deaf.
5. If you want to be an American Idol you need to have a personality.
6. Wearing your Halloween costume does not count as having a personality

Basically, unless you really, really can sing and are hot, save everyone some time and stay home.

Next week Idol heads to San Diego to see what the West Coast has to offer.

Renaldo Lapuz and his “We’re Brothers Forever” hit:

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