There’s no easy way to break this to you, but disturbingly Heidi Montag of the scripted reality show “The Hills” has decided that following her nose job and implants she should pursue a music career with her new single “Higher”. Sure, why not, right? I mean that no talent hack Hilton did the same thing and was really successful at it. Wait, what? She wasn’t? Oh, that’s right. Well grab your parachute because this plane is plunging fast.

Maybe you didn’t hear me or maybe you’re a bit masochistic because at this point you’re still reading and are getting dangerously close to the video of Montag’s “Higher”. There aren’t any lyrics for the first 33 seconds which thankfully allows just under 3 minutes for “singing” and jazz hands. The whole thing looks like they shot it on a cell phone and isn’t much more than Heidi prancing around in her bikini on the beach. Montag seems to only have one move and that’s her jazz hands. For pete’s sake, someone tell that girl to close her fingers as she waves those hands around. Either way the whole thing reeks of said Hilton’s own disastrous video, which itself reeked of UB40’s Kingston Town. Ahh, the circle is complete.

Here’s the video for Heidi Montag’s single “Higher”: