Following last night’s wild season premiere of Big Brother 9 was no easy task. Tonight we’ll find out who gets evicted and who is our new HoH power couple. The show picks right back up following the completion of yesterday’s HoH competition and we’re focused on bitter Sheila and clueless Adam. Sheila mentions wanting to start a hair salon for handicapped children. Adam calls them “retards.” Seriously. Then he says he’s allowed to called them “retards” because he works with them. He pulled that from “There’s Something About Mary”, but I’m not sure if he was trying to be funny. After a long talk in the kitchen with Sheila Adam refuses to acknowledge that he did or said anything wrong. It’s going to be a long summer.

The real Big Brother drama for the night starts when Jacob decides he’ll instigate some fighting, or “stir up the pot,” as he calls it. Jacob says, in front of Ryan, that he doesn’t trust Parker or Jen. He starts ragging hard on Parker and when Jen comes over he says that he overheard people saying Parker was “a snake”. Dumb move for Jacob. Jen rushes inside, gets Parker, and returns outside to confront Jacob. This doesn’t go well and results in Parker waking up the sleeping houseguests to determine who it was Jacob heard calling him this. Turns out no one called Parker that and it was just Jacob being an idiot. The posse disbands and back in bed we see Jacob pride himself for his “pot stirring”. Knucklehead.

Stupid loves company though, so let’s keep it going. The next day arrives and while sitting outside Jen decides she needs to tell Parker the secret about her and Ryan. Now to be fair she does this because Parker is considering targeting Ryan because Sharon has convinced him it was Ryan who made the “snake” comment. What Jen should have done was just flat out said, “no, we’re not evicting Ryan.” That would have been that. She is still half of that decision making team with Parker. Instead she explains to Parker that she and Ryan are “the big twist of the season.” Now I don’t know about that, but she certainly believes it. Ryan comes over and Jen says that she’s told him. Ryan isn’t happy, but decides he has to be fair and tell Allison. Good gravy. Are you kidding? Allison is shocked and hurt. She says she was really interested in Ryan and is now worried that any strategy talk she makes will go straight back to Jen. He assures her that won’t happen. I don’t believe him whatsoever. We’ll have to wait and see.

Eviction Ceremony:
After more whining from Sheila about her partner Adam the houseguests gather in the living room for the rather sudden eviction ceremony. We’re first treated to despair filled visions of Jen & Parker in the Diary Room discussing how there just wasn’t enough time to decide. I’ll think they’ll survive. Out they come to make their announcement. Jen starts sobbing like she just had to decide to put down her puppy. Oh great, another Wahhhmber this season? Finally they get it out. Jen & Parker have evicted Sharon & Jacob. Jacob, what were you thinking?? Adam is ecstatic and comments that he was saved by Jacob’s dumb move. Yes he was.

HoH Competition:
Now that we have that out of the way it’s on to the next Big Brother HoH competition. All the houseguests head out to the backyard and are greated by a “Tunnel of Love” and out from the tunnel walks season 8’s Eric and Jessica. Awww. Yeah, yeah. They still look cute together and Eric still acts as uncomfortable in his skin as ever. I’m glad to see them back and sense that we can expect a lot more of these pop-ins from previous season favorites. The game is simple and plays just like The Newlyweds. One member of the pair leaves, both are asked the same question, and if their answers match they win a “heart”. It’s pretty silly and seems difficult considering they haven’t been around each other very long. In the end Amanda and Alex are the new HoH winners. A&A just barely beat out Natalie & Matt so hopefully we’ll see some strong rivalry between these pairs this season. The episode concludes there but not before a funny moment where we see Amanda’s behind blurred out because her shorts are so very, very short that her bottom is hanging out. You can look forward to more of that on the feeds…

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