This has to be the funniest sad story I’ve read in awhile. Some drunk kid in Maryland was driving around I-95 ramming into another vehicle and then chased the driver into a building calling after him that he was a terrorist all the while maintaining the he, in fact, was Jack Bauer. You can’t write fiction this bizarre. Fox DC reports:

A college student has been given probation for repeatedly ramming his car into another man’s vehicle last year on Interstate 95 in Maryland, claiming the man was a terrorist and he was the character Jack Bauer, a federal agent on the Fox television show “24.”

According to charging documents, Sullivan twice struck Cantoral’s van, then ran after him into the lobby of a prison building shouting, “He’s a terrorist.” Sullivan was further quoted as saying that his name was Jack Bowers (Bauer) and that he worked for the FBI and the Secret Service.

So I’m having a hard time figuring out if he thought he was Jack Bauer / Kiefer Sutherland because he was driving drunk or because he was chasing a “terrorist.” Zing!