Britney Spears’ latest video offering from her “Blackout” album is for the song “Break the Ice” . It is some BritNASTY anime. How many more personalities are hiding up in that busted weave? Good thing this one is a cartoon. Cartoons can fly and don’t have to ask daddy for car keys or debit cards. Bonus for Britney: Cartoons can have hot bods without having to work out or cut down on gas station cuisine. The end of the video says “To be continued.” Great.

I’d forgotten that the video for “Toxic” had a cartoonish Britney and male supermodel Tyson Beckford working a “Mission Impossible” scenario in it’s second half. All that came to my mind when hearing “Toxic” these days was nympho-stewardess. (Sorry Tyson!) After watching the “Toxic” video again, it is clear that Britney was throwing big red flags signaling her public meltdown-to-come. SHE WAS WEARING A PINK WIG that matched Tyson’s sexy motorcycle. We ALL know that bad stuff happens whenever the pink wig is on. She also made the same scary faces in “Toxic” as when she was bald and wailing on that paparazzo’s SUV with an umbrella. Look it up if you have loads of free time, or just take my word for it. To be fair, she was also doing other spy stuff like skanking around red motion-detection beams, accessing a top-secret lab via palm ID, riding a hot guy, and blowing stuff up.

“Break the Ice” is exactly like “Toxic” minus nympho-stewardesses, and it is ALL cartoon. Same spy stuff, gratuitous groping of hot cartoon guy and bombs, except cartoon Britney can jump off way more buildings and is much more flexible than “Toxic” Britney. It’s “Toxic” as interpreted by E-Surance and Speed Racer. If Gnarls Barkley can be cartoons, so can Britney. Word on the street is that Gnarls Barkley were, in fact, involved in making “Break the Ice”. They are mad-smart cartoon scientists who convinced Daddy Spears that cartoons are the future of all music. Cuz ’toons aren’t subject to 5150 psychiatric commitments and never have to go to rehab. Ever.

Watch the video to “Break the Ice” here on YouTube, if it’s still available.

Welcome Erin to Wild Bluff Media! She’ll be covering everything from Idol to celebrity chaos.