Oh, thank the Lord it’s Tuesday!! America needs SOMETHING to take our minds off of our wretched economy. (Please let the fed rate-cut work, please let it work, please….) uh, sorry! It’s American Idol! Surely the building of the Gi-Normous New Idol Stage has had a positive effect on the economy in Hollywood.

It’s Beatles night part 2- “The Band”. Hopefully Sir Paul will have a decent night tonight: he nailed the coffin shut on his divorce from Heather Mills the other day, but it still cost him $48 million. Chump change, I know, but I wouldn’t wish another “Eight Days a Week in Dollywood with Kristy Lee Cook” on him. Kristy Lee’s back tonight, however, saved by David Hernadez’s exit. Barely.

Starship Idol flythrough!!! Ryan is pumped! “500 people who are ready to party!” Bandleader Ricky waves from his skypod! TWEENAGE SCREAMING!!!!!! Here are our top 11- and the audience scream intensity levels: Amanda Overmyer: pretty good amount of screaming. David Archuletta: Wild, crazy, crying, 13 year old, heartfelt ,glass-breaking screams! Just like for Sir Paul back in the day!! Kristy Lee Cook: leftover screams from the girls still watching and screaming for David. Michael Johns: medium screams. Brooke White: softer, more earnest screams. David Cook: pretty loud screaming. Carly Smithson: medium to extra medium screams. Jason Castro: medium-to-full screamage. Syesha Mercado: meh screams. Chickeze: meh screams. Ramiele Malubay: meh screams. So it’s gonna be Amanda first, with Ramiele in the pimp spot. Better bring it tonight, girls!

Randy is yawning? I think his ears must be popping from the screaming of the tweens stationed very nearby. He admits only to fatigue. Paula is very sparkly in a black knit flashed with gold, and it is a white T-shirt night for Simon (for those of you who keep score). Paula expects those with “gumption” will take risks, some paid off last week. Ryan notes that Simon IS Mr. Gumption himself, and I think Simon has planted his own tween cheerleaders in the audience. Holding signs. For Simon. Simon denies any poster making parties at his house, and says that we are at 50/50 this week. Everyone Must Sing Well. Stock footage of Beatles career progression, with no Yoko.

Up first is Amanda! What is her fave moment from her Idol experience? She loves the huge stage, and it is WAY better than the flat-bed trucks she used to perform in! She makes sure we know she’s teased her weave up high for us tonight! I love this hot mess! Amanda’s gonna sing “Back in the U.S.S.R.”. Right now, I am so stoked. This could possibly blow up Starship Idol! Amanda starts off a bit rough (even for Amanda) but she’s never let that stop her party before. No sir. Amanda is clearly here to rock! By mid-way in, she’s found her notes, and has taken over Starship Idol command control. Serious Screaming for Amanda! No one understands a word, and no one cares! She is putting some major Floribama on this baby, oh yeah, and I mean Way Down South! ROCK STAR FINISH!! MASSIVE STROBING!!! Amanda is the gen-u-wine, double-wide, female Beatle. Wild, massive applause, screaming, craziness and general mayhem in the Starship! Now for the buzzkill. Judgement! Randy says it started bluesy, pitchy but picked up in the middle. Gives it a 7 out of 10, but says it was good. Paula says it was sketchy, pitchy and that Amanda had some initial problems with timing. But, it was quintessentially, authentically who you are, Amanda. Paula would love to hear a ballad from Amanda sometime. I wouldn’t hold my breath for that one, Paula! Simon says that it was what it was. Loud Boos from the Idolship. Simon says she was predictable, the same week after week, and that she needs to pull a David Cook “Hello” out of her hat soon or risk becoming boring. (Really Simon? Amanda? Boring? Not in your lifetime.) Girlfriend lobs it back and says ballads are boring! Oh yes she did! Amanda says she has 1 1/2 minutes to show America what it would be like to see her show! Wild, primal screaming drowns out Simon reminding her that her show tickets aren’t on sale just yet. Don’t you try to shut down this party, officer Simon.

Kristy Lee Cook is wearing her Tammye Wynette-lite hairdo tonight, not quite as high, but she’s gettin close. I do not BELIEVE she is showing us ANOTHER picture of her horse! Kristy Lee is codependent on her horse. We get it times infinity! Call Dr. Phil. Her other pet is a dog that is the size of a horse. Her most memorable moment(s) have been her several trips in the bottom 2. She says it is scary in the bottom 2. Kristy admits her song last week didn’t go over so well, but she’s gonna give us something we will really like tonight. And that would be…”Hide Your Love Away” written by John Lennon. It begins slowly, and kinda stays there. Wierd tempo, almost a waltz. Swaying hands in the audience as Kristy tries to countrify her song a little. Blessedly, not as much as last week. Kristy Lee pretty much stays center stage, trying to think what Tammye would do. She hits most of her notes well towards the end, and this is performance is an improvement over last week’s horror. The end. Judges? Randy says this is one of his favorite songs, it needed more emotion. Twas a bit boring. (Yup.) Paula says KLC needs to stick to the melody, buuut… this is the best you’ve ever looked! Simon has had it with KLC and says she needs hypnosis. You are NOT a good performer. Mildish , half-hearted boos from the audience. Simon says KLC is Musical Wallpaper. (Great band name!) She doesn’t have an impact apart from when she is horrifying like last week. Spank! Ryan asks KLC if she is trying to play it safe and careful, and KLC senses she must take action immediately. She points at the judges, and all of us, and says “I can blow you out of your socks, and you know it!” If so, Kristy Lee, please hurry the heck up. Frankly, it may be too late.

David Archuletta is next! His most amazing moment was singing Imagine, and getting crowned prince. His worst was forgetting the lyrics last week. David is a good politician! Talk about the scandal, get it out, and people will move on. He is that good. David is sticking with the ballads after last week’s debacle, singing “The Long and Winding Road”. Starts softly and earnestly, and proceeds to give an absolutely pitch-perfect, classic Archie performance. His Overlick button is off tonight, and the tween screams are registering at least a 5.0 on the Richter scale. He is smooth as silk: perfectly, perfect, perfection. I’m pretty sure David won’t be grounded anymore after this one! He is BACK! Coronation, er , judgment: Randy says David brought the hotness back to his game! He played it safe, but it was very nice. Paula says it was his most exciting performance. His purity, honesty and ability to rise above adversity to build character, yada, yada you are wonderful! Simon: Last week= Mess. This week= Amazing. David just served up a master class, y’all, and Kristy Lee should have been in attendance. Too bad KLC already sang. A unison tween “WE LOVE YOU DAVID!!!!” shakes the Starship like an asteroid storm. David tells Ryan between the hysteria that he likes ballads, and connecting. (Down, tweens! Not in that way!) He blushes, bigtime, and earnestly receives his laurels. The kid is crazy gifted, that is for sure. He can NOT rock, nor should rock ever be forced upon him. Amen.

Kellie Pickler will be in the house tomorrow for results night! Whee! Ryan shamelessly demonstrates downloading Idol videos on an iPhone, from iTunes. Thanks Ryan! Next up, Michael Johns.

Michael John’s most memorable moment was singing Bohemian Rhapsody during Hollywood week. He took a risk, and it worked out. (Unfortunately, this seems to have been his peak). Michael loves the Beatles, and is singing “A Day in the Life”, one of his favorite Lennon/McCartney masterpieces. This is a quirky, kinda long song isn’t it? Video shows Michael struggling to cut the over 5 minute long arrangement down to 90 seconds. I’m a little afraid. “I read the news today, Oh boy…”. Michael can’t get to his first high note. He looks great, sounds okay. For about 20 seconds. Then, wha ? Total abrupt tempo change to the “Woke up, got outta bed, pulled the comb across my head” part of the song. Like an airbag went off in your car, abrupt. Michael is hopping. Stop the hopping! It is not hot to hop! Rock star pose for the “AAAAAAAAHHHH’s”, well played, but stop with the swaying hands Idolship! This song has at least three different tempos and you are not swaying with any of them! A little Lizard King Jim Morrison action at the end, Michael’s forte. To the Judges! Randy says it wasn’t one of Michael’s best, perhaps not the right song. His “Big Ole Voice” needs a different vehicle. Sorry. Paula was snooping around rehearsal and it sounded great then. She puts on her “Pro Singer” hat and wonders if Michael was having trouble working with the ear monitors: they are hard to get used to, and it is a big stage. Simon calls BS on all of it, pronouncing it a mess. Didn’t hit your notes, the song was all over the place, and it just doesn’t work at 90 seconds! Michael needs to NAIL IT like David did before him. Ryan wants Paula to clarify what she meant about the ear monitors- she begins explaining them when Michael points out that he isn’t wearing ear monitors tonight! PUNK, PAULA!!! Actually, it is punk on Michael, as Paula back-scolds him saying he really doesn’t have an excuse now. Michael had dedicated this song to a good friend who passed away recently. He is very genuine, and now Paula feels like crap.

It is Brooke White’s turn. Singing “Here comes the Sun”. She’s in yellow, again. With sunny yellow and orange lighting, again. Who’s your sunshine??? It’s Brooke, the “sweetest person alive” according to Ryan. Brooke’s best moment was last week’s “Let it Be”, and it’s accompanying adulation. She begins tonight on the lower stairs, and it’s basically an acoustic arrangement. Again. She twirls (yes) over to the mike stand, and sunbeams begin to shoot from her aura. “Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!” Joy and sunbeams radiate throughout the ship. Brooke is having fun, missing a few, and dancing geeky, but that’s okay because it’s Brooke! Brooke beams through the entire song, and is feelin’ groovy. Wild applause for Brooke! I wasn’t loving it. Judges? Randy says that the song is beautiful, but Brooke looked a little awkward. He doesn’t feel like she connected with the song. Brooke says that she IS awkward, and begins to have a running dialog with the judges as they are speaking to her. Paula says she can’t help but smile watching Brooke. Paula loves yellow. Paula thinks Brooke has good low tones, and is a different color of yellow tonight. WTF? Take away Paula’s cup now. Simon? Simon says he KNEW she’d be wearing yellow tonight, and that the lighting would be yellow too! It was TERRIBLE! Brooke talks over Simon, weirdly trying to comfort him for criticizing her. “It’s okay, guys, it’s okay.” A bunch of times. She’s sort of treating the judges like her buds, and I don’t think Simon feels like he’s her bud. Brooke says she already has a plan for next week, and Ryan says buh-bye Sunshine! I swear to you, America, I called that yellow before Simon did. And I know I am not alone.

Thankfully, it is David Cook’s turn. He will not be wearing yellow, I’m sure. David’s best moment, of many, was last Tuesday’s “Eleanor Rigby” performance. He was euphoric, the huge stage feels like a rock show, and the judges comments were awesome. Highlight of Simon speaking the truth of David’s mad hot talent. David was very humbled by the judges praise last week. I power-voted for David last week! David is gonna tear UP “Day Tripper”, the Whitesnake rawk version. “She’s a big teaser…”- like David when he gives ya one of his sexy stalker looks. He is playing guitar, check. Love. No freakin’ way! David has pulled a Peter Frampton and is playing the voicebox! Smokin, smokin awesome. I have loved him forever. The crowd is going CRAZY wild. That’s how to rock, preteens! Take some notes! Wow. Bravo again, David. How do the judges feel? Randy feels like he is at a David Cook concert every single week! Paula says David is ready to go sell records RIGHT NOW! AND DO GEICO COMMERCIALS! (Please, please take the cup away now). Uh oh, Simon calls Haughty and Smug! He hated the voice box, says that David’s lost his element of surprise a bit (I thought the voice box was pretty dang surprising) and was predictable. He didn’t like the rawk version. Whatevs, Simon. We ALL loved it. David wisely avoids Simon’s bait, and does not sass. He is GOLD.

Carly Smithson is next up. Her moment: Last Tuesday again! How many does this make already? The Kelly Clarkson comparison will stick in Carly’s mind forever. Carly likes the Beatles, because they are from Europe, like her. She is singing “Blackbird”. Ballady. Piano. Great lower register, pretty pitch perfect! She is telling the story well. Very, very polished. Carly has fantastic vocal control- and I feel like another master class is being taught! Time for the judges to have their say: Randy says another great performance, great control, emotion, yada, yada, love. Paula says great lower range tone, inflections, arrangement, yada, yada fantastic with a capital F. Simon: You chose a song about a blackbird. A bit indulgent, he thinks! BOOOS from the Idolship. Carly tries to explain that all of the contestants have been trying to break into the business, and they feel afraid sometimes. Now Simon is uncomfy, because all of the Idols feel like broken birds. Or something like that. Paula is rambling on about sparrows and blackbirds and oil slicks, and Carly has a new tattoo on her finger. A number 7. For season 7. Next!

Jason Castro, blessedly. Best moment: singing “Halleluiah”. He missed his ending notes but nobody cared! It’s the truth! Jason is singing “Michelle” tonight, and having to learn French, which he’s never spoken before. Video shots of Jason pulling an all-nighter for his French exam! His arrangement sounds a bit Parisian with strings and guitar. Jason does a little flourish with his hand during the French parts! Too cute. He’s not hiding behind his guitar either, and he is absolutely precious and fabulous. Signs in the audience for Jason!! Judgment time. Randy gives one “yo”, and says it was a good song choice, interesting, wasn’t sure he connected with it. Paula says he has a distinct charm and that’s why ladies fall in love with Jason. She calls the arrangement “Polka-ish” ? Get a map, Paula. Geez. Simon says that this is a weird show tonight. He says Jason’s precious face SOLD IT! Good thing this was TV and not radio. Simon likes Jason a lot, he is charming, not obnoxious, and has a sort of goofiness that totally makes it work. TRUTH! Shut up, Randy. The tweens are truly squealing now!! Idolship LOVES Jason. Me too. I have a little theory about Jason, he goes to my dad’s alma mater- Texas A&M University, the Aggies. There is no such thing as a “former student” or a “former Aggie”. You are an Aggie for LIFE. Aggies are truly a different breed- in a great way. They are bright, respectful, original and loyal. “School spirit” doesn’t even BEGIN to describe Aggies and how they feel about each other. There are Aggies watching Jason that have never watched American Idol in their lives, and if they are watching- they are voting for Jason. That is how they roll. Gig ‘em, Jason. Twelfth Man! Secret Voting Block!

It’s Syesha Mercado’s turn. Syesha looks fab tonight, better than I’ve ever seen her look! Sexy but classy. Syesha’s Mom and Dad are here too, and they make tonight even more special. Moments: Hollywood week when her voice went out. More important moments were being in the bottom 3. Syesha used the experience as a needed kick in the butt. Good! She has been holding back on us. She’s singing “Yesterday”- she loves it because she learned it in middle school, and it still makes her cry. Syesha’s sitting onstage next to an acoustic guitarist. She starts off softly, but with strength. Great emotion FINALLY! Nice upper runs!! NAILS the power note, then Mariahs on down. Delicate. Fabulous. And I haven’t been a huge fan. Sweet performance for Syesha!! She has hopefully saved herself with this one. Lots of lovely screaming for Sye! But what will the judges say? Randy says that she took some liberties with the song, and that it was very, very good! Paula says that it is great to see how Syesha has changed and let her vulnerability show. Paula’s most astute comment of the night. Props to acoustic guitarist Paul! Simon says that it was probably Syesha’s best performance so far. Not incredible, mind you, but she chose the right song- the one Brooke should have chosen. Ha! Simon says she sang very, very well, and that this should keep her in the race. Well played, Syesha.

On we go to Chikeze. Moments: First round in Hollywood when all three judges complimented him for the first time. Also, jumping around last week and Ryan touching his head. Chik’s favorite Beatle is John, but tonight he is singing Paul’s “I’ve Just Seen A Face”. He’s also going to attempt to play an instrument. Hmmm- this should be interesting! Chik starts slowly, hands are swaying, and then…complete personality change into John Fogerty playing a harmonica. He countrifies up the second half of the song, and brings on the banjos like last week. He’s slinging Elvis, John, Paul, Harmonica, Banjos and making some crazy faces! Oh, it’s interesting alright. Do the judges like it? Randy says that it was good and bad, he thinks it might make a good country song, but it was still kinda strange. Paula disagrees, and says Chik is showing his depth and width by changing a ballad into fast bluegrass in 90 seconds. Simon says it started okay, but then Chiki played the harmonica. Bloody hell. Atrocious. Not a song to be proud of. Frankly, gimmicky. Simon is right. Sorry Chiki.

Finally, Ramiele Malubay. Pimp spot. Someone in wardrobe needs to stop with the high-waisted pants with sailor buttons. The girl is 3 feet tall, and is also wearing a fedora. Could you find anything MORE stumpifying? Please. Ramiele’s moments are making so many new friends among her fellow Idols. Brooke is her mom, and David Cook is her big brother who gives her pep talks. Ramiele is singing “I Should Have Known Better”. Weak start. Kind of a Motown meets country sound? Hits a power note well, and busts out the “Big Ole Voice” a few times, but pretty much blah. Judgment please! Randy says it wasn’t jumpin’, but he liked her confidence, and it was a-ight. Paula says it was definitely better than last week. Ballads are okay! Get back to the ballads, Ramiele. Simon says it sounded like Chiki was playing the harmonica during her song. The harmonica player in the band is PISSED at Simon right now! Simon likes her, hated the performance. Amateurish. She’s in the same boat as the others who chose the wrong song. It is what it is. Que Sera, sera.

Well, there you have it. Kristy Lee, Chiki and Ramiele are my picks for the bottom three. Tonight is the first time Brooke has really gotten any grief, but she’s still safe. Syesha brought it tonight, and may have saved herself. Michael wasn’t fantastic, but he also didn’t play the harmonica. David Cook, Jason, David Archuletta , Carly and Amanda are safe if there is justice in this world. I hope y’all voted, because no one is ever really safe! Come back tomorrow night for Kellie Pickler and results night! I am OUT.

Welcome Erin to Wild Bluff Media! She’ll be covering everything from Idol to celebrity chaos.

SirLinksALot: American Idol