Seriously, they do. Here are the Jonas Brothers the other night at the 2008 Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards. I think they bought one of those “grab bales” at the thrift store, brought it home, threw the whole pile into the air and then dressed themselves blindfolded. I know they were probably afraid of getting SLIMED, but this is just PARANOID!

Hey guys- here are a few tips to keep you out of the fug:

1) White shoes are ALWAYS a no unless you’re playing tennis or are Pat Boone/My Grandfather.
2) Leave the pocket scarves to The Donald.
3) “Kermit Green” is never an okay color.
4) Sanjaya in the middle needs to give Thurston Howell III back his jacket and pants. Also, only Catholic schoolgirls are allowed to wear saddle-oxford shoes.
5) If this is the work of someone who calls themselves “Your Stylist” - FIRE THEM IMMEDIATELY ‘cuz they’re stealing you BLIND! Goodwill charges a dollar for those bales, dawgs!
6) If you’re afraid of your stylist because she’s Rachel Zoe the vampire, don’t try to eliminate the middleman by going directly to Goodwill yourselves. That is NOT the point.

No need to thank me, your compliance will be thanks enough. But I’m gonna be watching.

Erin is a new writer at Wild Bluff Media! Welcome her with feedback and comments.